He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and
obtains favor from the LORD.”
– Proverbs 18:22 (ESV)
The love between a husband and wife is like a fire. The stronger the love, the greater the fire; the weaker the love, the smaller the fire.
When you love and bless your spouse through your words and actions, it’s like throwing more wood on a fire: it will continue to grow, get stronger, and keep everyone in the family warm.
Neglect to do so, however, and the fire will get smaller, and eventually go out.
As husbands, it’s essential that we bless our wives daily in order to keep the love in our marriage strong. Spouses, kids, extended family, friends, neighbors, and the world all benefit when a husband and wife love each other faithfully.
Yes, marriage is a two way road that requires both the husband and wife to maintain faithful, thriving love, but don’t wait for your spouse to act first. You initiate and make the first move; you bless first. You love first. You do your part to keep the fire burning.
So, what are some ways to show your wife that you love her?
Here are 13 practical ways to show your wife you love her, and keep your marriage love strong:
1. Pray for her daily
I am not sure how the Lord will answer your prayers, but I know that He will. When you pray for your wife, provision, protection, and more of God’s presence are unleashed in her life.
Do what you can do for your wife, and let God do what you can’t do. Your prayers bless your wife, help you trust God, and give you peace of mind.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 (ESV)
2. Pray with her daily
My wife Abby and I try to pray multiple times everyday. After we pray, we feel closer to the Lord and to each other. When I initiate prayer, Abby feels especially blessed because I am taking initiative to seek the Lord together, with her.
Along with praying for your wife, pray with her also. When you pray together – and especially when you initiate prayer – your wife will feel especially blessed.
3. Write her a note
For most women, words can be like sunshine and water to a flower: it will produce exuberant joy and love in your wife. Simple and sweet notes/cards works great too! If encouraging, kind, and heartfelt words make your wife ‘light up’, this could be a great way to bless your wife!
4. Surprise her
I’m not sure what it is, but lots of women seem to like surprises. My wife loves surprises, and I know plenty of my friend’s wives love surprises as well – whether it be dates, flowers, games, notes, chocolates, or other activities/gifts. If your unsure about whether or not your wife enjoys surprises, try getting her a gift or taking her on a date when she doesn’t expect it, and see how she responds.
5. Gifts (that she likes!)
Similar to number three above, however, this includes getting her gifts (she actually likes) for holidays, birthdays, and special occasions – as well as surprises. If your wife feels loved when you give her gifts, this is a big way you can bless your wife.
6. Give her a massage
7. Affirm her with your spoken words
Similar to #3 above, your spoken words (as well as your written words) can greatly bless and nourish your wife. Tell your wife how much you love her, what you appreciate about her, acknowledge the kind things she does for you, and affirm her gently and lovingly. (And make sure your actions back up your words! Otherwise, your words will have no power.)
8. Listen (genuinely)
This is the number one issue I hear women complain about in men. For some reason, men tend to be poor listeners (generally, not always). I’m not a women, but I too have observed in my conversations that women often are better listeners than men!
There are many moments where I will be listening to my wife talk, and all of a sudden she will hug me and say ‘thanks for being such a good listener!’ I will often be surprised by her feedback; but in someway, when I listen to her genuinely, she feels loved.
I’ve heard other married women say similar statements; there’s a good chance your wife will feel blessed if you genuinely listen to her. This is a good practice to make a habit of, as listening will make all your relationships better – whether it be in your marriage, with your kids, in your career, with your friends, or with your extended family.
9. Talk (engage!)
Men, you may not enjoy talking as much as your wife does, but when you engage in a quality conversation it will bless her. Turn off the TV, look your wife in the eyes, and have a quality conversation. (Or take her out to lunch/dinner and engage in a quality conversation there!) Having a quality conversation is the perfect time for you to share your feelings, thoughts, and needs with her as well.
10. Sexual pleasure
This may be a little ‘R’ rated for some, but this is an area wives can be afraid to acknowledge their dissatisfaction.
Does your wife enjoy the romantic part of your relationship? Does she enjoy having sex with you?
If you don’t know, ask her. This may be a difficult conversation to have, but it is essential to your wife feeling connected to you and enjoying sex with you. To get better: Read about how women experience sexual pleasure (physiologically), practice with your wife and ask for feedback, and keep improving until you get better. You will get it sooner than you realize, and you will greatly bless your wife when you understand what she enjoys during sex, and how she enjoys it.
11. Be gentle, not harsh
Men, your wives are not your football teammates. They perceive and interpret language (verbal and nonverbal) differently than us guys.
When you are harsh, you communicate irritation, frustration, and anger. When you are gentle, you communicate love, appreciation, and humility. Make sure what you are saying – both with your words and actions – are communicated in gentleness.
12. Remember to do the little things
Doing the dishes. Making the bed. Cutting the grass. Doing laundry and folding clothes.
If your wife shows appreciation and gratitude when you do little tasks like these, it’s a sign that it truly blesses her. Remember to do them next time (without being asked), and you will bless your wife.
13. Get a job and provide for her
To 99% of you men reading this, you will already be doing this. However there are still several men I know who are neglecting to work and provide for their wives and families simply because they are lazy and immature.
Women enjoy financial security and they feel loved when you work hard for them. You don’t need to be rich, but your wife should not feel the full burden of providing for your family (unless your wife wants this responsibility). Your wife should feel confident that you are working hard to care and provide for her.
Grow up, get a job, and provide for your wife and family.
How have you blessed your wife? Which of the 13 ways above does your wife feel most loved? Do you disagree with any of the points above? Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!